Scotland is horrible at football

I happened to catch the Scottish Cup semi-final match today between Queen of the South and Aberdeen, and boy was I thoroughly unimpressed. Even from an American perspective, these teams are not good. By the 70th minute it was 4-3. This must be the Arena Football League of soccer, because the ref blew his whistle like 2 times, and I'm pretty sure one was caused by a cough. I missed one of the goals, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was scored by a goalie.

Luckily, tomorrow features some Premier League action between Arsenal and Man United. I might venture to a pub to watch it, but that would involve a serious risk of getting a bottle and/or chair broken over my back. Though maybe that's what it's gonna take to achieve full integration into English society.